To and Fro

growing closer, pulling back
happy fearful, high and low
truth and doubt, here and now
always more, moving on
special moments, fateful days
will it wont it, to and fro
stepping on, stepping out
start and stall high and low
love you honey-Yes I know

It's a small world..........after all

First let me get that annoying song out of my head.

In RL I live quite a small life, work, home, family, blah blah and I kind of realised I also live a small live in SL too.

This is a rather unsettling thought, as I remember logging into SL and realising the scope of the place and how I could be looking at or doing something different most days.

Fast forward almost Three years and my Second life is as predictable as the First one.

I don't know how to end this post so I wont.

Back to RL I go.

Size doesn't matter (but of course it does)

Last night I logged in and as always I wanted to change clothes, to my complete HORROR my inventory was reading 11000-I blinked and looked again 11000k huh??

Where were my boots? Where was my beloved skin folder? this couldn't be happening to me.

I went straight to Google and typed in Where the £$!%^& has my inventory gone? (yes I am an expert Boolean string search type person) Google search brought up results such as:

• Good grief woman, they are not real boots
• Get a life you sad cow
• I saw a Linden selling your shoes on QVC

After spontaneously combusting and throwing myself around the room for several minutes I found a result about clearing your cache What!?!?! hadn't I lost enough cash without clearing more (note from Editor-Cache and Cash are not the same word you moron)

Sobbing uncontrollably I peeped back at Second Life, and followed the instructions to the letter, OK I was comfort eating a Magnum but apart from that it was to the LETTER!..I tell you.

I chewed my nails down to my knuckles waiting for my inventory to reload-the tension was too much and I collapsed face down onto my Magnum, a friendly psychiatric doctor was just passing by (how lucky was that?) and he recounted to me later I was twitching and calling out No! No!, Maitreya, Bax, Lelutka..don't leave me, I will be a good girl, no more bitching about lag or rezzing naked with a daffodil up my..well you get the picture.

After a quick wipe round my face with a tear sodden Magnum wrapper, I closed one eye and squinted with the other at my now loaded inventory anddddd Thank You Our Lady of Prim Toes it was all there, all my babies returned to me, and the glorious number of items??? nope I wont tell you that, never ask a lady her weight, age or inventory size.

Show & Tell

Today girls and boys we are going to talk about feelings.

What is another word for feelings Amber?

..Err is it emotions, Miss Romano?

Well done Amber that's right.

Sometimes children, it can be difficult to show our emotions to other people.

How could we let someone know how we feel without saying the actual words children?

Miss Miss?

Yes Blue?

Maybe we could draw or make them a picture ?

That is an excellent answer Blue,yes children we could let people know what we are feeling by using a picture to show them.

Pick up your crayons or paste and pictures girls and boys and please make me a picture to let me know how you are feeling this afternoon.

.....and Amber you don't need to hold two crayons at once now do you? you

can only use one at a time.

Sorryyyy Miss Romano :)

The late Asia Romano!

I stayed up until stupid o'clock in SL last night/this morning, it's a very long time since I did that and it kinda reminded me of my noobie days.

This morning when the alarm leaped to life my arm moved at ninja speed to turn it off, but noooo! unbeknown to me the alarm clock had cunningly moved it's snooze button sometime during the wee hours of the a.m.

Was the late night worth all this bed-head eye-bag angst?? You know I suspect it was.

Self Indulgent Post

Empty Arms

So many happy memories

I crave your indulgence, I need to wallow, to get come kind of closure (ick hate that expression).

Once upon a time in SL, I was in a very meaningful relationship with an amazing guy, 18months of loving and laughing, we explored our virtual world and we were happy. SL was our world, we lived together, we played together, we loved together.

But it ended, quite a while ago now and I have been half a person since then. He is never coming back, and I need to move on.

We had a favorite place in SL, it is where we had some of our most intimate and loving moments, a couple of days ago I went back for the first time and to say Goodbye finally to my sweetheart.

I wrote this while watching a very sad pixle girl wander about an empty sim.

Final Goodbye

Today I did something I thought I could or would never do again, I visited a very special place in Second Life.

For my love and I this was the most special place, a place where we laughed and shared and loved each other.

As I toured the sim, it broke my heart to see my pixel alter ego there alone.

Poignantly, Imagine by John Lennon was playing in the background I mourned for you and for what we had shared.

My tears flowed ,my throat ached and it felt like losing you all over again.

Our journey together lasted for Eighteen months and I will cherish and preserve those memories for ever.

I met you and I loved you. I miss you and I will always love you.

Goodbye my love, you made me a better person.

Ok now I am going to have a good cry and eat some chocolate.

Never can say Goodbye

Recently there seems to have been a mass exodus and pseudo exits from my friends and acquaintances in SL. Profiles have displayed elaborate goodbye speeches, proclaiming all manner of reasons for the big Goodbye. Some are really gone, some are gone for a wee while and others are back in world within a day/week never again to comment on their failed departure (and yet others probably back with a new persona)

Which begs the question-Is it easy to say a real goodbye to SL?

Deleting all software associated with connecting to the grid would physically stop us from connecting, but there is no software to disconnected our brains from the virtual world and as far as I know will power is still not available to buy in the supermarket.

So I continue to ponder and speculate if and when I go- which form my departure from SL will take.

Maybe this post should have been named Should I stay or I should I go?